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[29 Jan 2008|06:47pm]
oooh that is good.
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[29 Nov 2007|06:43am]
mad words
but not mad like angry
mad like a lot

all we do is talk talk talk

woah i made the worst eye contact with him. EVER.
i thought my chest was going to EXPLODE and then
i said "OH MY GOD" aloud
and then he was everywhere all of the time

how awful

everyone kept telling me not to worry all day
oh my gosh
too bad

"we'll talk about it tomorrow"

no sleep and the sun is rising
and even though i am getting a little fucked over
at LEAST she is happy and safe and warm

i ain't tired

at LEAST i played the piano in the living room tonight
for an hour
too bad that it is pretty out of tune and some of the keys stick

my mouth is pretty dry and i feel like i could vomit
maybe i will vomit in my 9am class and Sue will take pity


just kidding yo

[05 Oct 2007|08:29am]

i looked into my coffee mug and saw my face staring back at me in all the little bubbles that formed when i filled it. wow wow wow wow.

she climbed into bed with me; she placed her arm around my side and kissed the back of my head.

[26 Aug 2007|12:21pm]
it's always like, WOW, things have changed.

[19 Jul 2007|02:54am]
if you knew what i knew if you knew what i knew if you knew what i knew if you knew what i know if you know what i knew i knew i knew i knew i know i know know know know know know know know know know know know kno wknow



no more punctuation, yo


[26 Jun 2007|05:39pm]
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[07 May 2007|10:55pm]
I wonder if I'll ever have enough guts to talk to the girl at the gym. Her given name (the one I gave her) is DENVER, and if I ever speak to her and find out her real name, I'm sure I'll be disappointed. Loving from afar is so intensely creepy.

[30 Apr 2007|06:40pm]
never ever been heavy into daily affirmations used to make myself feel like a champ (not so admirable?).

speaking of funny things:

today was pretty crummy despite the sun and the warm weather. to ESCAPE (lol, lol lo lll ) I drove to long beach. I brought a notebook with some loose school papers stuck in it; upon preparing to sit and read several psych articles, the sheets blew away with a dumb gust of wind. I'd venture to say that my psych homework is on its way to england right about now. there is sand in the legs of my pants and my eyes are sort of burning. boohoo.

Me: 0

World: 1

[22 Apr 2007|01:16am]
i hope that my hands are still my own in ten years. can you even BELIEVE some people when it sounds like they are speaking in code all the time? well I know I am. tonight I went to the beach and i was positive that this mass of seaweed was a human body (because it was). and then there was a helicopter which cast down a real strong beam of light that was reflected onto the water and i thought FOR SURE that it was the moon (because it was). last night i asked a gorgeous turkish girl where she stood in regards to the armenian genocide. she doesn't deny it. as a matter of fact, she walked in hrant dink's funeral procession. I hope that I did not offend her by asking that innocent question; I was just curious, y'all. yum. SO.soOSSOso. soon enough, YEAH.



[07 Apr 2007|09:11am]
well denizen kane said it best when he said

i feel way too forgiving and level headed lately. the bruises on my shoulder blades are finally going away. next time i don't think that i will share my experiences with anyone, because just as i had expected, once i let it go and started to speak, my storymyexperience MY ten minutes of clarity became comparable to some stupid parable about getting gum on your (shoe) sole. souls are another matter entirely and that is FINE with me as long as my ten minutes are mine and remain mine forever.


[21 Mar 2007|09:26pm]
most days I sit around and do absolutely nothing. on the bus today, devin asked me if I had done anything creative lately, like write a screenplay or a novel. I told him that I had been spending some time writing up drafts of my will because my mom told me to think about my future. although he laughed at the little quip, I'm fairly sure he wouldn't have had he known that that was my sarcastic way of hiding the fact that my creative endeavors of late are non-existent.

quel dommage

as an aside, getting into college has really destroyed my work ethic.

[14 Mar 2007|08:26pm]
1. happy pi day
2. if i had scales i would be able to call myself a ruffian with validity
3. i don't feel the particular urge to capitalize my i's anymore
4. really
4. no, really
5. my AP lit teacher made a mistake on my progress report and it said that i had an 800% average
6. this weekend i was in the city and was talking with my hands and subsequently hit a woman as she was walking by
7. who knew that being animated could be so dangerous??
8. patience and prudence????
9. i am pining for a date (yahooooooo)
10. pasquier has single-handedly ruined the french language for me

[13 Mar 2007|09:49pm]

[13 Mar 2007|08:08pm]
MAYBE I should just let everything happen organically?
it's so hard to just let things BE.
I wish I weren't such a picky, impatient jerk!
cuz das wat i am.

no but really.

how can something so perverse be so disgustingly persuasive?
and I'm talking about holocaust revisionist theory.

"you mean TALIB, lyrics stick to your ribs?"


dilly dally.

[11 Mar 2007|10:34am]
if I believed in idolatry, I would concern myself only with crooked smiles.

[08 Mar 2007|09:44pm]
no, not aware not now
not now but later is when everything every THING fell down
that's a lot to chew on when ya got no teeth
what a tough situation to be in with no eyes
not aware now
not now not ever
legth of vocal chords determining the way my words sound??
I think so NOT
I think not???
le meme chose??????
same difference
but with lighter hair
but still water falls
not waterfalls
but free flowing
but not not not NOT aware
what's gonna nullify your stupid roots when
no, I mean verify
w' hats gonna verify your roots when your grey is gone

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[26 Feb 2007|09:00pm]
everything is incredibly silly right now. I am restless and reckless and I don't want to do any of my work. well, everything in the previous sentence was true except for the reckless part. SOMEDAY I WILL do something reckless. someday, someday... just not in the conceivable future. just kidding. I'm reckless at heart.

I have a corncob pipe.

I have decided that nothing is really worth getting upset over anymore. in accordance with that conclusion, I have absolved myself to rolling with alllll of the punches that crazy folks may throw at me. that's definitely not reasonable. tant pis.

denizen kane holds everything down real tight

[21 Feb 2007|12:46pm]
I am a rap battle genius.

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my pointer finger looks obese.
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[11 Jan 2007|06:25pm]
"Illiane - Your laugh can brighten pple's days. Keep it up."

"Elliane - You are a nice, funny person."

"Ilienne - You are really nice, funny, and CRAZY."

"Ellian - Your very funny, cool and comical"

"illianne - funny"

"Illenne - you are funny and tell good jokes."

"Elian - you are very funny and smart"

"Ilienne - Heyllo!! Hmm... something nice about you... not much..(jp..HeeHee). You're one of the koolest people I know & I hope you stay really kool.. Don't change cuz then you won't be soo kool.. Stay weird & stay nice~!!"

"Ilienne - You are funny and very cool. Remember last year's project at your house, and the guy called? That was scary!"

"Ilienne - You're really funny you know; of course. I like the nails. Did you really lend Patrick the nail polish?"

"Illiene - You're weird, but funny (sometimes. not all of your jokes are funny. only some are funny)"

"Ilienne - You are always happy. You could cheer anybody up anytime."

"Ilianne - Thanks for being a friend! You help me in math + tech! Thanks so much!"

taken from an activity in middle school; there are nine different spellings of my name. The general consensus of my peers appears to be that I was funny(sometimes). OHHHH ADOLESCENCE, you're such a trip.
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[04 Jan 2007|10:43pm]
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